The Search For Kathea, A Leap Into A New Awakening
The Search For Kathea, A Leap Into A New Awakening
Iriisii looks at the three of them commenting, "ready for the ride of your lives?" She then moves away and morphs into her dragon form, sees the awed look on their faces at the reality of what she has done, then says, "well do not just stand there with your mouths down to the ground. Climb up and get settled, we have a long way to go to find the caravan."
Illyria goes first and settles right behind her head, Athas looks to Dettlaff, who extends his arm in the invitation for him to go ahead. Athas then climbs up and settles behind Illyria. And Dettlaff then climbs putting himself behind Athas. "Everyone hold on to the spikes." Then Iriisii leaps up into the air, her wings grabbing the air and pulling her higher and higher. Once they are cruising amid a river of air in the direction she wants to go, Dettlaff asks her, "why not just use a portal? Surely it would be faster."
"If I were to go through a portal here, someone I would rather not meet right now would know exactly where I am and where I am going. That could become a very big problem for me."
"You mean...?"
"Do not name him, please. He can hear its use and those who use it as well. If you must reference him, use a false name such as those used in the books when writing about him. Here, he is known as the 'Blind Dreamer'."
"And the servant?"
"He is called the 'Crawling Chaos', among many others, but I think that one describes him best."
"She Who Watches All did not say much about what happened, just that we needed to get one of us to you as quickly as possible."
Iriisii goes into what happened that night, the encounter afterward, what little she remembers from the effects she suffered. And that the Great Sage felt there were some hermits living along our path that might shed light on it for them.
"Then by all means let us hope so. Anything that could affect you like that is dangerous at the very least."
"I agree. And that it ties into the 'Blind Dreamer', and some sort of plans he has for me. Well, the information written about him is almost useless as I have discovered. It is in no way accurate in how it describes him."
"How so?"
"He is not insane or mindless at all, but rather, how he thinks is so different from us that it appears that way to the uninitiated. He does not follow the 'Paths of Light or Dark', 'Good or Evil', but rather the 'Gray Paths'."
"The Gray Paths?"
"In the books about the 'Elder Scrolls,' they are obtusely mentioned. When Septimus described how the 'Scrolls' see "Time' and 'Space', he referenced it as looking forward and backward along with the flow of a stream. Then he asks what they would see if they looked up or down. In his words, that is when the madness would begin. I think he was mentioning the 'Gray Paths' but in the only way his already warped mind could describe them."
"That is a frightening thought. I read your copies of those books to try and better understand just what they are and what it is they do. It made my head spin, trying to follow him."
"As it does so many others as well. Everyone reads them a little differently, depending on how much experience with the 'Scrolls' one has. The more experience the more you can draw from them, but at a cost to the unprepared. Septimus books do not affect 'sight' as does the Elder Scrolls, themselves. He was only half sane when he wrote them, and so they reflect that onto the reader. Some it barely affects at all and so they get nothing from the books. Others can see deeper and so glean more from them but at the risk of damaging their minds as what happened to Septimus."
"I think I will give them a pass then."
"You are much stronger than you know. If we read them together, we can each shield the other, and draw much more understanding from the books as a result. There are some of the older, dark volumes that react the same way."
"I will trust your judgment on this."
Desidarius speaks up through Illyria, "He wants to augment your power by channeling his own through you, as I understand what we were told."
"That is my take as well, and the likely result of that would make me truly mindless unless I have some proclivity toward following the 'Gray Paths'. That I have no idea if it could be so, if it is, that frightens me even more."
"You would be right to be frightened. But I think it possible that you could adapt and follow the 'Gray Paths' if there were no other way to keep your mind. You have already successfully threaded the needle between 'Good' and 'Evil' for your entire life when so many others of our people have 'fallen' to the side."
"But even so, if they have not completely 'fallen' into 'Evil', they can be brought back."
"You know this, as do I, but do the majority of the others scattered about? Do they know this or are they deliberately being kept unknowing of that?"
"What do you know of this? Are they being kept unknowing and if so, why?"
"I did not come to know of this possibility until you brought me back. As to why the reasons are as different as the grains of sand on a beach. All of the possible reasons imaginable and probably a few more."
"This is disturbing news indeed. But how does it relate to..., could it be? Are so many being tested as I am, yet only I have shown promise enough to be chosen?"
"I do not think that many are being chosen at all, only the ones capable of ascending. Any others would not survive the trials. And of the ones who could ascend, how many would succeed in the taking of a Vyrkolos?"
"Not many indeed. Only a bare handful and of them, I am the only one to succeed and thrive."
"Athas, you need to listen to this for it could concern you as well. It is not only Aasimar females who can take a Vyrkolos. For an Aasimar male and a female higher vampire, can also serve the same purpose."
"What does all of this mean? The word is not known to me."
"An Aasimar and a higher vampire, in a relationship where the vampire is Vyrkolos to the Aasimar, is a relationship more intimate than even most wedded couples. For you share both power and blood, each giving the other gifts of themselves. Iriisii gained her own vampiric 'beast', an aspect of the vampire's drive for blood, violence, and the skills that go along with it.
Dettlaff has gained the ability to discern, hold back and read a situation before charging in. As they continue to remain together, they will share still more of each with the other. They will become more like the other, but still keep who they are, never becoming a copy of the other. Then once Iriisii reaches the height of her power, he will share in that, until he matches her. And then they will be unconquerable, each separate, but able to act as one, know what the other knows, feel what the other feels. It is in large part why those who rule, fear them above all others. And will do whatever they must to stop them.
She escaped that fate by being from an isolated realm, created after the rest of creation was formed. Such that not even the Gods that watch over that Realm knew what I am telling you now. It was why the 'Mother' could not find a candidate to be her 'Daughter' and take from her the 'Mantle' in the streams of time until she found Iriisii. And why the 'Draconic Divines' seek her so ardently."
"What do you know of them and why they want me to join with them?"
"Have you ever wondered why there is almost no knowledge or mention of them at all?"
"Yes, that has crossed my mind. Even after acquiring the 'Wisdom of the First Ones', there was no mention of them. How do you know of them, then?"
"During my time as a 'fallen', I wandered far afield of Mundus and Nirn. There was nowhere, I did not place my foot, seeking knowledge to further my goal of revenge against the 'Mirror Man' for creating me, then throwing me aside like garbage."
"I know, and I feel great sorrow for what happened to you."
"I too know, and what you did, what you have shown me, has opened so much more for me, that would never have been possible otherwise. Illyria's growing awareness of herself as a goddess has allowed me to grow as well. Taking the bits and pieces, snippets of careless words uttered by those who thought themselves above one such as I, and piecing together the story. Making sense of them as they come together, seeking wholeness of knowledge.
But onward, you have not heard of, or seen words written of them, because they 'died' long before the Gods we know that are out there ascended from the collections of power to become aware and immortal."
"How can Gods die?"
"They cannot, not as we who were once mortal, know death. They fade, they disappear, drawn to the resting place for 'dead' immortals, because immortals are forbidden to pass the Final Gate into the Great Beyond. They must go somewhere though, and so a place formed that would gather them together, until the time comes when time and existence end."
"Where the 'Dead Gods Lie Dreaming', that cannot die, which can eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die."
"Yes, that is what those words mean, that the immortal gods cannot die as we know it. And so something had to be done for them to balance things out."
"So am I to join them where they dream?"
"No, your purpose for them is not to join them there, but for them to join you, out here."
"REBIRTH!"
"Yes, rebirth, full resurrection, and restoral."
"How can I know if this should be done if no one knows who and what they really are?"
"All I know of that is this, there is another Gate, like unto the Final Gate. But where it goes is different. It is the 'First Gate', and it goes to,"
"The Beginning of it all!"
"Yes. Only by going there, can you learn of what happened, who was involved, why did it happen, and most important, is it wise to bring back the Draconic Divines."
"Then how am I supposed to reach this 'Gate'."
"I do not have the answer yet, but I am close. I also know this, the 'Blind Dreamer' does not want you to go through that 'Gate'. He will stop at nothing to prevent you from entering."
"But why? What does it matter to him?"
"Likely you will find that answer on the other side. I need to rest, for now, recalling all of that while here in the Dreamlands is tiring."
"Then rest, my Desidarius, let me carry you on the winds as a feather floating on the breeze."
"She told you what you needed to hear?"
"Yes, she did, thank you for letting her come forward."
"We have been talking much of late, getting to know each other as we never did before. If I may ask, how do you feel about her request?"
"What request is this?"
"I have not spoken of it yet. I want to speak to all of you about it first, before making a firm decision. But the request is simple, she wishes to be separated from Illyria and given her own body to inhabit."
"And this will in no way harm or unbalance Illyria?"
"Desidarius tells me Illyria has her own 'dark side' that went quiet when Illyria 'fell' due to the machinations of the 'Mirror Man'. This would allow her own 'dark side' to begin growing once more."
"I know you well enough by now to know there is more to it. If it were just giving Desidarius a new body, you would have already done so, just as you did for Reaper. So what is so involved with it that requires all of our input?"
Iriisii thinks, no time like the present, Rigmor has already given her answer, and she is pretty sure of Illyria's answer, as well as her own. It only leaves Byrsael and Dettlaff. Besides he is not going to get too excited while on dragonback high above the ground.
"I want to marry Desidarius."
Dettlaff is quiet. Thinking through what Iriisii has just said. He knows what happened that day, in Tamriel, on the battlefield where the Tsaesci were literally burned to ash with Starfire in the blinking of an eye. What he does not know is what actually happened, what she felt deep inside, as she coaxed Desidarius to open herself, so she could go inside and find what was left of Illyria.
He knows she did it with a song, a song sung from the heart and soul. He does not know the words to that song, only that Rigmor told him, 'it was so strong, it touched me as well. And I wanted it to be me she was singing it to.' Sometime, somehow, I am going to find out just what the words to that song were, how they could be so powerful to affect even ascended Goddesses like they did. Then he sighs, she knows I cannot deny her anything she wants, and I suspect even if I said 'no', she would still do it. Just make it a private thing between the two of them, rather than sharing with all of us. Better to bring her in with all of us, than make her stay on the edge.
"I say, yes. Just know that the restriction on sharing blood applies to her as well. I share with you and you alone."
"Thank you, love, and I share with you, and you alone."
Athas sits wondering, 'just what in the Nine Hells have I gotten myself into. And just what does all of this mean? Guess I will find out at some point if I stay alive long enough.'
"You already know my answer, and I assume Rigmor has told you hers. That just leaves Byrsael."
"And I have no idea how she is going to take it."
"She will be fine with it, she knows the decisions you have made in our group have only made us more powerful, with even stronger bonding between us all. She will trust you in this."
"I hope so, I really do. After what we went through in the Shire. Having to let her go to the Grey Havens and then onward to the Eastern Lands, never to see her again. And then to see her out of nowhere, come to the Imperial City to bid me farewell, before her imminent death, with the shard of that putrid Morghul Knife finally reaching her heart."
"I know, I was there with you and Rigmor when she showed up."
"If you had not sprung into action, to stop the shard until we could get that damnable thing out of her. She was down to maybe an hour before it claimed her. I cannot lose her again, I cannot!"
"Easy, you have passengers after all."
"I am sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. If you had not stood up to her father, coming to take her back to become nothing better than a broodmare to sire male 'Rangers' for his family reputation."
"That would have been tantamount to slavery, and I abhor slavery."
"I know, I saw the memories in Desidarius' mind as she watched the things that were done to you by the Sinister Seven. I saw the rise of 'Darkstar' as her own separate ego within you. I wondered how that was going to work itself out, and it did. But the price for it was higher than I could have imagined."
"But it worked out in the end, and that is what matters. I got to know Darius all over again like I could not do the first time. And now, as he follows in my footsteps, Destiny has put its stamp of approval all over him. I hope he is up to what it has in store for him."
"He is your son, how could he not be ready for anything that comes his way. You trained him to be the best he could be, then sent him to the Bladedancers to polish the rough edges, as they did for you. As you have turned out, so will he, they will make sure of it. You are still their Matriarch, you know."
"I wonder who else can show themselves here. So far I have only seen a few that I remember from here before. And yet, I sense one out on the edges, watching. One I know, but have never encountered here before."
"Do you know who it is?"
"Not yet, a trace within my memory is searching. When it finds the answer then we will both know, but it is someone I once thought of as powerful, now perhaps the tables have turned. We shall just have to see when the time comes, but be ready for anything."
"Rest assured I will, and so will Dettlaff, we will protect Athas, so you can do what you must with the one you sense if it comes to that. I think I see a campfire ahead in the distance."
"Yes, it is the caravan, I will need to land some distance away. No gain in scaring the yaks into bolting."
She lands softly, barely touching the ground before furling her wings. Her companions drop to the ground and she morphs back into human form. "I do not know where my armor and stuff goes when I morph, but I am so glad I do not return naked."
"I do not know about that, I would tend to enjoy that very much."
Iriisii saunters over to Dettlaff, hips swaying full of meaning and promise. "You just wait, there are better places for that than out here."
"Oh, I am not so sure about..."
Iriisii looks up and sees a shadow cross the moon. "Shit! Everyone go to the camp, Shantak bird, maybe a star shoggoth. Defensive position, as soon as you get there, pile more wood on that fire, get it up high. Athas stay back, you have never faced one before."
"Then I need to face one if I am going to be effective."
"Damn it, man, you are no use to me a blubbering idiot, they can steal your mind. Stay behind Illyria and Dettlaff, they are immune to the effects. I will make something to shield you when I get time to do it, right now just do what I say!"
It is obvious he has never taken orders from a woman before, but this one is a goddess and if she is concerned about what comes down on the moonlight, then he surely should be as well. They reach the campfire and start piling more wood on it until it is a blazing bonfire. Norok looks up from where he drops a piece of a log, growling at what he smells in the air.
"Norok, Shantak, maybe Star Shoggoth, guard the hermits, the Great Sage, and Athas. The others who came with me and I will deal with it and its rider."
With their backs to the fire, they await what now comes close. Out on the very edge of the firelight, it lands. An elder of a Star Shoggoth, its tentacles lifting, tasting the air to catch the scents coming from those in front of it. Then it feels a gauntleted hand on its thick neck. Its training takes over and it drops to its knees on the ground. An armored figure stepped down to survey who is found, out on these steppes at night. His armor is dead black, no light reflects from the metal. It is as if it shares and is a part of the deep night between the stars.
Iriisii steps forward, one step at a time until they can both see each other. Dettlaff on one side, Illyria on the other, enough distance apart to not interfere with drawing weapons or spellcasting. Then Iriisii hears a rasping voice, deep and slow, carefully pronouncing the words it speaks as if words are not common for it to use.
"I sense immortals, who..are..you?"
"I should be asking that of you? That you come unasked, unannounced to our council."
"I rule the night here. I sensed 'dragon' on the night's winds. Are you from Kadath or Borea?"
"I am from the Waking World, but my name is known across the Lands of Dream. I am called Dovahne Hahnu."
"I have heard that name spoken by the 'Whispers' that live in the sunset and the dawn. Never before have they uttered a name. The beasts of the moons call out that name in fear and loathing. Those within the 'Cities of Dark Desires' speak of what they would show her, yet they too fear her coming. It is being said, she raises new towers, calling upon the oldest and greatest of powers to aid her building, and they answer as never before in living memory."
Slowly he raises his gauntleted hands to remove his helm. As the light reflects from his face, Iriisii hears a gasp from Illyria, and Dettlaff winces at the ruined sight. No eyes are present in the sockets where they once resided. What passes for a nose, split apart down the middle and sewed to the sides of his face. His mouth twisted and scarred, barely able to make it sound out intelligible words. The rest of his head scarred, but by what Iriisii cannot tell, not fire, not acid, some kind of venom maybe, then she sees something that turns even her stomach as she sees a long thin grey worm crawl out from an earhole and find its way back inside through the split nose.
"What are you? What happened to make you like this? Who had the depraved temerity to do this?"
"That which did this is long gone from 'Dream', a wanderer of Realm and Reality. He did this when I would not please him, he called the Cenobites to take me and mutilate my flesh according to their desires. They wanted him and his desires, but they had no hold over him and so took me in his stead. I escaped them long years later when another used a portal device in the shape of a puzzle box to summon them. A puzzle box made by a master toymaker, who knew not what he wrought by the labor of his hands.
I wandered the lands, any land I found myself in, fleeing those frightened of what had been done to me, calling me cursed, monster. You do not seem frightened of me, you speak kindly to me, why is this?"
She walks up to him and places a hand atop his armor breastplate, over his heart. "I look past the pain, past the hurt, the scars, all the things that were done to you. I see who you once were long ago, and who you could be once more."
"Once more?"
"Do you believe in me, do you believe in my power, to change what has been done, to turn back time itself to what was before?"
He whispers through what passes for tears gathering in the space that once held his eyes, "I believe."
Rahhe do Aaz ahrk Belief Gods of Mercy and Belief
Hon rek wo speaks fah Hear she who speaks for
Daar poorest do sille. This poorest of souls.
Ok suffering speaks do His suffering speaks of
Faal purity do ok sil The purity of his soul
Let ok sil meyz forth Let his soul come forth
Ahrk heal ok torn slen And heal his torn flesh
Zu'u, Dovahne Hahnu ask daar I, Dovahne Hahnu ask this.
From deep within him, a glowing bright light seeps outward from every pore. The worms in his flesh are consumed, the scars smoothing and fading, the stitches abounding his body crumble into dust. The lobes of his ears grow outward once more and where once there was naught but shadow and darkness, now eyes of the brightest hue of the sea shine forth. Iriisii and Illyria each take one arm and guide him to a place by the fire that he can warm himself by.
The hermits having witnessed something truly remarkable and miraculous, move themselves to make room for him to sit. Iriisii reaches into one of the packs she had on the caravan, and pulls out a sealed bottle of Cyrodillic Brandy, finding cups to pour it in, she gives one to each person there. When she comes to the one she has just healed, she says, "this is from my homeland, it is very strong, so take it easy."
His voice comes out smooth and melodic, "thank you." As he takes it in hands that can feel once again, raises it to his lips and sips it. The burn as it goes down brings back memories long thought lost to the ages. Tears once more flow, but this time from eyes shining from the wetness. "I thank all of you for what you did for me. I will never forget, ever."
"Can you remember who you are, what name you had before what was done to you?"
"I..do not know. It has been so long ago, I do not remember."
"Do not worry, it will return to you in time. Do you remember anything about who did that to you?"
"I remember his laugh, chilling, cutting into my very soul. That laugh, I will never forget."
"Do you remember anything else about him?"
"He could appear as anyone else he had ever met. But once I caught a glimpse of his real face. I buried the memory of it, it was so terrible. He took delight in tormenting anyone he met for any reason, or just because he felt like it. Many times he knew someone would react in a particular way, and so he set them up to fail, and then cursed them when they did."
Illyria looks at Iriisii, who looks back at her, not speaking, but sharing thoughts on whether it is one they both know.
"How did you come to meet him?"
"I had listened to the prayers of those he cursed, those he harmed. The cries of the souls he damned and claimed as his own. Until I could no longer stand aside and wait for another to deal with him."
"Why would you have to wait, what stopped you from starting out as soon as you knew what he was doing?"
"I...do not remember that. I want to remember, want to tell you, but the memory is not there."
"Do not worry about that, we will see what further help we can be later. Is there anything else you can remember about him that is different from others, something that points only to him?"
"Yes, there is one thing, he has an affinity for reflections. He can hide within them. Anything that reflects, he can use to hide, like a still pool of clear water,..."
"Or a mirror?"
"Yes, I remember, he once called himself the 'Man of Glass' and I heard him referred to as the 'Mirror Man'."
This time the look between Illyria and Iriisii is full of questions and some answers. Then Illyria nods to Iriisii.
"I think I know of who you speak of. I do not think you will have to worry about him any longer."
"May I know how you can say this? Many have said that before and he would always return to seek his vengeance upon them."
"I have him imprisoned, his unholy soul split into two parts, in constant combat with two demons, within two blades. The demons were born and trained just to do battle with him within the blades. And the blades, along with the body he inhabited is imprisoned within a lockbox filled with magically null metal ingots. The outside of the lockbox is encased in that same metal welded by Dragonfire so that there is no seam. The key to open the lockbox is lost to the depths of time.
I have the plans of an even stronger prison for him. I just need the final elements to construct it and place him inside. The new prison will hold him for eternity, and should he ever find a way to escape, there is a safeguard that will consume him."
"Then it is finally over, I have no more reason to fear his return. My wandering is over, the curse broken, my torment lifted."
The joy he feels at the knowledge that he has truly been released floods over the campsite, everyone feeling the rapture of this moment. The sound of a door opening nearby echoes in the night. Iriisii looks and sees the energy signature of that door. She watches as a figure walks out and approaches the campfire. As the light plays over the figure, she recognizes who it is and she wonders why he is here.
She walks up to him and embraces him before asking, "Father, why have you come. Who is minding the Forge with you away?"
"Thor is doing a passable job, keeping it going. He is not in your class, not at all, but passable. Maybe with a few thousand years working, he may become adequate. But the reason I came was that I felt the presence of one I thought was dead long ago and far away. I had to know if what I felt was true, or a trap, or just wishful thinking."
Iriisii puts the threads together and, "come, sit by the fire. I think the answer to your question is sitting there now."
As they return and the Forgemaster sees who is sitting by the campfire, the firelight begins shining, reflecting from the tears running down his face.
"Does he know?"
"Some things, yes, mostly no, but I have high hopes that more of his memory will return."
"To see him again, I never thought that I would. He disappeared without a trace, no one, not even the hounds could find him."
"And you and 'Mother' separated yourselves from each other because of that?"
"Yes, I reminded her too much of him, and the pain I was causing her. I left to try and give her a chance to heal. And whereas she is still healing, if I were to rejoin her the pain would begin anew."
"You do not think that part of her pain is because you are not there to help her bear the burden?"
"Truly? Do you believe that to be true?"
"Yes, I do. If it were me standing in her place, that is what I would feel."
"Then I will go to her and see if I can help her. At least I can tell her he still lives, and that he is with you. She would accept that with you, he is safer than anywhere else. And you can oversee his continued healing. I think it would bring her contentment, some at least."
"Of course, I will do everything I can to keep him safe and help him heal until he is fully restored. Tell 'Mother' you both have my word on this."
"Thank you, by the way, I have something you will need as you go onward." He reaches around his neck and removes a silvery chain with a strange object dangling from it. "This is the key to the 'First Gate', use it with great care."
"I will", as she places it over her own neck and drops the key under her armor. "How did you know I needed it?"
He smiles, "a father cannot reveal all his secrets, now can he?"
"One day, yes, you will."
"But that day is not yet."
"No it is not, but temporally speaking, soon."
"Aye, you have the right of it, soon."
"Do you intend to stay awhile or must you see to what mess Thor has made of your Forge?"
"May I stay? Just say nothing of the Forge, please. If he remembers on his own, that is fine. But I do not want to force it."
"Of course. Come, Illyria and Dettlaff are with me, and would love to see you once more."
"Where then is Rigmor?"
"The children insisted she stay with them. And of course, she can deny them nothing."
"I daresay you are the same with them."
"You know me well. But even I must weigh the needs of others against their need of me. Much as it pains me to be away from them, we know what will happen if I do not deal with this, and so I do as I must, for it is for them as well as for everyone else."
"You will do just fine when the time comes to accept the 'Mantle'. I dare say perhaps even better than your predecessor, not that she has not done her best. But you have a strength within you that she has a lesser portion of. I think had you held the 'Mantle' back then, things would not have gotten to where they require such strong intervention now."
"I thank you for your confidence, Father, but it happened as it happened. I will not change or gainsay it. It came about this way for a reason, even as I have no idea why, I trust one day I will, and it will make sense then."
"One last thing before I sit, a message from Wotan."
"Oh, what wisdom would he impart to me?"
"He asks you to consider that when you make the greater prison for the one you already hold, you might consider creating a 'temporal loop' to place it within, rather than a 'pocket dimension'."
"Hmmm, something to consider, I see where he is going with this. It would be far more secure, and he would be nigh forever out of sight and reach of anyone seeking to release him. I would just need to find out how to create one without tieing it to an existing timeline. And I think I know who to ask about that. Give him my heartfelt thanks for the advice, I will see if I can make it work."
And with that, the Forgemaster goes over and sits near his 'son'. "A good evening to you, sir."
"Aye, and a good evening to you as well. Perchance, do I know you?"
"I doubt that I am but a humble smith, on my way to mine some special ore for a job."
"I seem to recall someone that was special to me, having responsibility for a special forge. The memory just seems to escape me right now."
"It will likely return to you in good time. Memories are like that, never there when you want it, but popping up when you least expect."
His son laughs. "Aye, you have the right of it, good smith."
The conversation continues into the night, even when Iriisii goes to sleep by the fire, she sets a part of herself to stand to watch against any further intrusion. For this meeting has been far too long in coming, and now that it is here, she intends to let it take its own course.
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