The Search For Kathea, A Leap Into A Return To Undermountain P3

     "I don't believe what I am hearing! Vampires offering to fight for you!"

     Sighs heavily, "maybe one day if you should decide to stay with me long enough you will learn why they did as they did. For now, just understand that for whatever reason they decided to do so. Now we need to take a closer look at this altar and pit before moving on. I feel that I may be returning sometime later to destroy this and I want to make sure that I seal it up tight before doing that."

     She finds strange symbols barely visible running around the top edge of the altar. As she tries to feel any pattern to the symbols, she notes a strange sense of nausea coming over her. These have to be powerful indeed to cause such a reaction. She backs away until the nausea fades. She then inquires of her ancestral memories if they know anything. The only thing they come up with that she can understand is that the symbols are from somewhere outside of Creation, as to the language they represent, it does not correspond to any known in Creation.

     Very well, time to move to the pit. She moves over to it and begins to think she is making progress until she makes it to a point where she does recognize a word. She starts shaking and Reaper noticing, moves her back away from the pit. Ciri sees his action and moves over to see what happened. Nodens watching goes to where Iriisii was reading the symbols around the pit and finds the spot where she stopped.

     "What happened to her! She is shaking with tremors! What did you do?"

     Reaper ignores her to try and comfort his teacher from whatever caused this.

     "Answer me, what did you do to cause this?"

     Nodens hearing the rising tension, steps between, "Reaper did nothing but move her away when the tremors started to keep her from accidentally falling inside."

     "Then what caused this?"

     "A word she read in the symbols around the pit."

     "But how could a word have that effect?"

     "It names a specific place where this portal can be opened to among many others, this one caused her to remember some time she spent there. I previously said she had been to places where even Gods fear to tread. This was one of those places."

     "Where is it, what is it called?"

     "Why would you want to know, some knowledge is not meant to be known. She survived being there, you would not."

     "Are you so certain?"

     "Yes, I am. There exist a series of 'Black Books' of esoteric knowledge that seem to float around with a mind of their own as to who they will allow to read them. But there is also one that is the blackest of the black, it does not belong with the others it masquerades as. This place is mentioned in that book. That place never sees the light of day, its floor is composed of the bones of those dropped there, or those foolish enough to go there."

     "Then which was she that she ended up there?"

     "You are treading on thin ice with your ill-chosen words. If not for the respect I hold for your father."

     "Do not hide behind my father, answer me!"

     "I will answer you, and pray you never find yourself in the 'Vale of Pnoth'. I was in the library at the College of Magic in Winterhold. I came across the book, Nodens described. I was specifically looking for it, to find out about a plot concerning the Tcho Tcho people who live on the Plateau of Leng, bordering the Vale of Pnoth.

     The Plateau of Leng reaches out to and has a presence in the Daedric Lord Vaermina's Oblivion Realm of Quagmire. I was not on Vaermina's good side if she even has one. Dreams are one of her strengths, she managed to invade one of mine and drew me into her Realm, giving me over to the Tcho Tcho as a sacrifice.

     They do not kill their sacrifices on an altar, they throw them over the side of the plateau and down into the Vale. And so they did with me. I managed to use a sharp bone shard to cut my bonds. Not knowing anything about the place, I conjured some mage light. That is when things went from bad to unbelievably horrific.

     I saw a Dhole bearing down on me. The best I can say about what happened after was that my mind retreated, my 'dark side' Shivista, came forward, took control, and started running. She kept my body running until she found a cave, almost nothing but a crack in the Vale walls. But she wedged me in there until the Dhole passed us. Rather than come back out and get eaten by the next one to lumber along, she went deeper into the crack until it widened out and she felt it safe to wait until I came back to my senses.

     Until then I had no idea she was a separate personality within me, she later told me she would have been content to remain in the shadows of my mind, but by saving our body and our lives, I asked her to stay and take a more active role from time to time, to do things that needed doing that I could not force myself to do. We found a way out, and those memories haunt me even now, and will for eternity.

     Dettlaff and Regis once asked me about that place and I will tell you what I told them. If ever you find yourself there, do yourself a mercy and cut your own throat before you meet a Dhole. If you do not believe my words, ask my mate Rigmor about what the nightmares I suffered during that time did to me. The screams that went on day and night, day after day, echoing through the Imperial Palace. Where I kept pleading with her to kill me and release me from the torment. And that place is but one where that portal can open to. I wondered how a 'Fly-The-Light' could have made its way here to wander through the halls, eating whatever it could find. Now I know how it got here."

     Ciri pointed to the pit, "through that?"

     "Yes, someone deliberately opened it, and either it wandered through or somehow they enticed it to come through. Probably to keep explorers away from finding something here."

     "What the 'Hound' said for you to seek?"

     "Probably so. Which tells me that whatever it is, I need to find it. Ciri, before we go on, I need to understand your ill feelings toward the vampires. It goes too deep to be just the fears that all mortals share, you lost people you cared about, didn't you?"

     "Yes, I did. I thought I had buried those memories, those feelings, deep enough that they would never surface."

     "But they did anyway, the bad ones are like that, always coming back up time and time again."

     "How do you live with them, You are a goddess, can you not just wave them away?"

     "There is a reason for having them return as they do. They are a deep-seated part of us, wanting us to acknowledge and accept them. Accept that they happened and move onward, not shackled to them but free."

     "I cannot do that, I do not have the strength."

     "It is not strength that you lack."

     "Then WHAT IS IT? What do I lack? Why will they not stay buried? Why can I not forget them?"

     "You have felt great fear in your life, time and time again, building one upon the other, until it is like an unscalable mountain. A mountain that hangs over you, threatening you with its shadow."

     "How..can you..know that? Have you read my mind?"

     "No child, take my hand, let me show you what I have dealt with, maybe you can then feel some comfort that you are not alone with great fear."

     As Ciri takes Iriisii's hand, Iriisii shows her the memories of great pain and fear within her own life, the loss of Darius, her firstborn son that she watched as his soul was ripped from his body, and she closed the portal on him as she saw another looking out at her from his eyes.

     As she saw Atticus thrust 'Mournblade' through the back and into the heart of the necromancer daughter of Desidarius, dark side and alter ego of Illyria, her mate.

     And of the 'Horseman of War' who held the 'Mantle' before her, who she felt closer to than a brother because of that. How she was forced to slide a dagger into his heart as she held him in her arms. Killing him and the leech corrupting his body and soul, releasing his soul to go on through the 'Final Gate' and seek peace at last, after thousands of years in an icy hell, he had imprisoned himself into awaiting her to free him.

    And lastly, of the ongoing trial to find her lost daughter, Kathea. Going from one place to another, one adventure to another, one death to another, all on the seemingly neverending road to find her.

    "How? How can you endure so much and keep going?"

    "The question is, how can I not. It is not within me to give up, I take my strength, my courage, my resolve, from who I am, what I became at each stage of my life. I found friends, lovers, mates, teachers, mentors, all of whom helped me along the way. And so I am never alone, even in the deepest, darkest, pits of the Abyssal Hells, I will never be alone. That is my strength, the source of my courage, for if I fail, they suffer from that failure, and I will not let that happen!

     You have tried to distance people from you, to save them from the pain that always comes for you, when those very people would be the strength and courage you need. Your time with Geralt showed this to you, but you were too young to recognize it. And then you kept suffering loss after loss, using the distance to shield yourself from the pain. And instead of cutting yourself off from your greatest source of power and treasure."

     "Who are you to see this?"

     "I am the Daughter of the Mother of the Cosmos, and many other things as well, but that part of me is who you need most at this point in your life."

     "Please, listen to her, Ciri. Let her help you. You have been alone for far too long."

     "How can you help me?"

     "You have already started down that path. By recognizing the need you have, and wanting help. You have great power, and many are those who wanted that power for themselves, not caring that it was yours and yours alone. Instead of seeking for your assistance, your help, they sought only to take, instead of asking you to give."

     "What do you want from me?"

     "I want and need nothing from you, save to give you the help you so desperately need. Even as I have much larger problems to work on and solve, I will always stop to help whoever needs it. Walk with me down my path for a short while, learn what I can teach you, but remember this, only you control what you may become in the future, for good or ill, or anywhere in between, the choice always lies within you. Your choices, your decisions, they define who you are, who you will be. If you want to change, it must begin inside of you.

     Reaper, scout forward if you would, the area ahead has not been cleared of traps, be careful. Telasine are you able to walk now?"

     "Of course, she is not, her wound was much too grievous."

     "No, I am much better now, see, there is only a scar now."

     "But...I saw so much damage, how..."

     "Never underestimate the healing power of the 'Daughter'. Whether it be a grievous wound, a desecrated landscape, or even an entire Realm devoid of life. Healing can be brought to it as it needs to be if one's belief is strong enough."

     "When Yennefer underwent the healing she needed to overcome the magical toxin, her entire internal organ structure had to be rebuilt after the toxin liquified it. No potion, no healing from a healer could do that, only the belief of a God or Goddess can do that. I have the power of faith and belief from uncounted followers, worlds, systems, entire Empires that span galaxies, believe in me. That power is what drives me, I did not seek it, they gave it willingly. For what does it cost them to believe, and to know that the two greatest powers in all of Creation are 'faith' and 'hope'.

     Understand that, know it all the way into your deepest core. And nothing will ever stand in your way again. Now we need to go on, I need to solve this mystery of what needs so many traps and guardians to safeguard it."

     They gather and slowly walk onward, noting markings Reaper has left about traps that he could not disarm, thus allowing them to sidestep them. The path continues downward, the angle of descent shallow. On and on, they go, until Ciri cannot stand her own curiosity any longer and asks Iriisii about Reaper.

     "What do you want to know? You could of course ask him, he has nothing to hide."

     "I just feel he is different, he is obviously adult, but I get a sense that he is also a child at the same time."

     "That is pretty close to the truth. He was made, not born."

     "What?!"

     "In all of your travels through the Realms, did you ever hear of or encountered an 'AI'?"

     "I remember hearing the term, but I did not understand."

     "He is a created intelligence, he originally inhabited a machine. A very large, very complicated machine. He can still control it, but I needed a way to remain away from it and still be able to command it. He needed a living body to be able to follow me and give me access to it as I may need it. I created a body, placed his mind inside along with an unborn soul that I rescued from being devoured by a Demogorgon. So for all intents and purposes, he is a living breathing human, although he does also qualify as a demigod.

     I knew he would be of little use to me if I had to constantly guard him from harm. As a demigod, he can hold his own against most anything we will encounter, and I have spent the last year or so in 'relative time' teaching and training him, as I was when I was still mortal. This I did not do, only to complement my own skills, but to allow him the ability to do as he is now doing. To be effective either near me or not as the circumstances determine.

     He will also continue to grow, in skill, and in other areas. I envision that one day he will become something truly marvelous to behold. Something never before even thought of."

     "Is he...?"

     "If you mean experienced with women, no, he is still 'virgin' both in body and in emotion. I have deliberately not gone there with him. He still has the innocence of a child, and I will not destroy that by making of him what would essentially be a 'toy'. He deserves better than that, he deserves a chance to learn of 'love' and all of its connotations on his own. I have my mates, and it would not be fair to them or to him for me to become his lover if I feel no emotional attachment to him. 

     If you wish to explore a relationship with him, I will not object. So long as you treat him with respect and do not seek to hurt him. I know it can happen despite our best efforts, as long as you do not intend to hurt him, I will not interfere. He deserves a chance at finding happiness, with someone who can understand him, and grow with him."

     "I do not know if I am ready for anyone really. I was just curious."

     "No harm in asking questions, there is no harm in curiosity."

     "Would there be a chance..."

     "For you, Telasine, why would there not be?"

     "I am a Naiad, not a human."

     "And he is a demigod as well, I see no problem. One of my mates is a higher vampire, I certainly have no right to throw stones. I have other children and I have already stated to them I will not interfere in their decisions of who they choose to involve themselves with.

I have it on good authority that my half-dragon daughter Aleytys, will make her choice soon enough. And that her choice will make heads turn."

     "Do you know who?"

     "Oh yes, Lord Arioch of the 'Courts of Chaos'. He was at one time interested in me, but I had to inform him my 'dance card was full' I think the saying is."

     "Indeed, I know that saying and what it means."

     "He asked permission to woo one of my daughters. I asked him to try and avoid Aleytys, not because I did not approve, but because the Dragons of Nirn are very protective of Aleytys, and I did not want any problems to occur between them and him. Anyway, I have been informed that she will decide she wants him for herself and will warn off her sisters. Then he will try and avoid her while she chases him across Tamriel before finally catching him.

     Her sister Kintyra will be Empress by then, and she will have to publicly berate Aleytys because of her antics, while in private, she will laugh so hard, the Lord Chancellor will have to threaten the Palace staff to keep their mouths shut."

     "Who in the world did you find out about this from?"

     "He turned out to be my grandson, their son. And I also learned just after talking to them, before I left Carcosa, I received a small box with a pink ribbon inside."

     "What does that mean?"

     Iriisii smiling, "that they will also give me a granddaughter."

     "You have other children as well?"

     "Yes, two boys and a girl, Kathea, who I am searching for, Darius and Ragnar. Both of the boys are in training with the 'Blade Dancers'. I hear Darius is considered to be their best fighter/tactician once he is fully trained, and Ragnar is in a class of his own as a full Warrior."

     "What if the difference between fighter and warrior, within the 'Blade Dancers'?"

     "A fighter specializes in just a few different weapons or styles of fighting. A full Warrior can use anything they can lay hands on, including just their own hands and feet. Should they choose to 'master' a weapon or style, they are nigh unbeatable in that weapon or style. As their 'Matriarch', it will be my honor to award them their 'joining' when they complete their 'trials'."

     "May I ask what weapons or style, Darius is training in?"

     "He is...making me proud as no one else can. When I went through training, I had already been trained as a 'Master Assassin' by the 'Sinister Seven'. I developed a style combining that training with what I learned from the 'Blade Dancers'. He is following in my footsteps and adding 'tactics' to it. Once he completes his training, I seriously doubt there will be anyone on Nirn who could match him. And in many other Realms, he would be considered a 'force to be reckoned with'."

     "He has the same name as the 'son' you lost, doesn't he?"

     "Few know this, but when I, Geralt, and Letho defeated the 'Man of Glass' and sealed him away. The Gods of the Realms he walked, joined together to reward my part in bringing it about. They could not kill him, as he would simply reconstitute his body and return, causing even more dire mischief. They knew that Darius' soul was one of the thousands released from the swords as they absorbed the soul of the 'Man of Glass'. 

     And so they gifted me with a child to bear, giving that child the soul of Darius, the son I lost so long ago."

     "Have all your children been 'gifts'?"

     "All except for 'Kalle Kiir Aaz', she is mine and Dettlaff's daughter. We have not yet determined a 'common' name for her. Reaper comes, we must be close now."

     Reaper does indeed show up and escorts them into a hall just ahead of them. It is something quite different from what they have previously seen. The walls are still stone, but a different stone from any they have seen. They are smooth, smoother than glass, it almost looks like you can pass your hand through it.

     The only thing different from what they first saw as they entered, occurs when Iriisii nears one of the walls, and writing appears on it in a band in close proximity to wherever she moves along the wall.

     "I know this, I have seen it before, how is this possible?"

     "What do you mean?"

     "In the 'Fortress On The Edge Of Time', down below the main level and within the outer walls are corridors that have this same style of writing, in there are many different kinds, script, runes, sigils, different languages scattered within the writing. Here are a few of the different types I saw, and I think perhaps two kinds of the same language. Perhaps a 'higher' and a 'lower', I am not sure, my ancestral memories go back quite far but not far enough to make sense of what this says.

     If it is the writing of the 'First Ones', it may be...I am looking at it too closely, I need to back up and look at it as a 'totality'. Yes, the writing is in layers, each adding meaning to the basic message, each part has several meanings, the correct one to be determined by the context of the others."

     "That sounds overly complicated."

     "To our way of thinking perhaps, but to a being capable of thinking in different layers at the same time, it makes sense. It would also serve to safeguard the message from those not skilled in reading that kind of language. Tsaesci is like this, but much simpler in its execution. This will take some time to translate, without my ancestral memories to assist, nearly impossible. I think that may indeed be the point to it."

     "How is that?"

     "Only someone who has undergone the 'Trial of the Ancestors' and survived with mind intact would be able to make any sense of this. And without understanding the writing, impossible to access what lies beyond this hall."

     "There is more beyond this?"

     "Yes, much more. This is what the 'Mother' wanted me to find. This guards the way to the 'Wisdom of the First Ones'. Everyone get settled down, this is going to take some time."

     As Iriisii is working to unravel the writings on the wall, Telasine has been talking quietly to Reaper, and Ciri to Nodens. 

     'You know what they are talking about and yet you still will not involve yourself. As a mother figure to both Reaper and Telasine, you have the right, if not the responsibility to monitor the situation. And the questions Ciri is bombarding Nodens with about you and Geralt, you would think she suspects you of trying to steal him from Triss.'

     'You seem to be doing such a fine job of listening in, why do you not handle it.'

     'Not my responsibility.'

     'Precisely. I trust that if Ciri goes too far, Nodens will put her in her place. You know he is not one to put up with someone, even family, undermining his friends. I wager he will have an earful to tell both Geralt and Triss when he sees them next. Better to let them straighten her out. They are more likely to get to the heart of it faster than we will. As well they should, something is troubling her, and this is just her way to take her mind off of it, even as it keeps coming back.

     As to Telasine and Reaper, they are equals when it comes to emotional experience. Neither has been involved with another on that level, let them sort it out. If they have questions, they will come to me with them when they can do so privately.'

     'You let me ramble on and you have already worked out what you needed to do with them.'

     'Yes, and so you can help with these symbols here, look and see if you can make any sense of these.'

     'Move over and let me see, ah yes, they do not mean anything until you connect them with this phrase here. See how they shift the meaning until it makes sense.'

     About another hour of this back and forth, then it all falls into place.

     "We have it worked out, at last, this is devilish in its intricacy. And the actual way the entrance works, well, wait and see. Everyone stand back by the doorway, but stay within the hall."